showmethecakes Sun May 07, 2017 12:03 pm
I was thinking how impressed I was that Marcin Bialoblocki was in the break on Friday's stage 1 of the Giro. I thought, how many of us can put a ride on Strava and call it Giro 100 Stage 1? Well actually anyone can, you just do a ride an call it Giro 100 Stage 1. Easy.
Ride Report for Tour de Scrumpyland Stage 1.
The excitement grew as the riders congregated behind the start line. A few last minute adjustments were made. "Anyone got an allen key? My handlebars are wonky". "Can I borrow that after you my headset's a bit loose". The peloton (all 10 of us) set off from the start line and rode through the neutral zone to kilometre zero. The commissaire's car pulled away and dropped the flag. We all stopped while they picked it up and then got on with the ride - I mean race!
A break away of one tried to ride off the front over the motorway bridge but was brought back by Puxton. The bunch then decided that chasing each other around sounded too much like hard work and settled into a steady 28 kph to the first feed zone at Sandford. Points were up for grabs shortly after with the first KOM of the day over Sandford Batch. The peloton temporarily stretched out over the 30 metre climb eventually coming together again on the flat run in to Winscombe. At this point the organisers revealed the names of the riders who did not start the stage (DNS) as opposed to Paul Snelling who had DJ'd (Decided to Join half way through).
The pace increased as the first intermediate sprint approached at Cheddar petrol station. Technically this is a high speed sprint contested between elite riders but as we're only a bunch of part-timers it is certainly an intermediate sprint. Some might even go so far as to say it is a 'decidedly ameteurish' sprint. Straight after the sprint the peloton stopped in the petrol station for more food. The windy conditions clearly taking their toll as whole bananas were consumed.
Wedmore seemed the most convenient place for a 'call of nature' with a lot of riders stopping at the roadside for a slash. Can't say the locals looked too happy about it but that's bike racing for you. The rouleurs took turns on the front to pull the bunch along to Wells where the headwind was actually quite strong. Outside of Wells the bunch faced a significant challenge - the ascent of Old Bristol Road. More KOM points up for grabs on this un-categorised climb. That is to say it's not an HC climb but just one that's so insignificant that it doesn't actually get categorised. Feed zone number three provided riders with an excuse to stop and rest at the top while the slower riders made it up the hill. Unfortunately Ivan arrived too late to get a burger and tea from the take-away van in the lay-by which had done a good trade with the rest of the riders and had since moved on.
After a fast run down to Chewton Mendip and across to Sutton Wick the riders faced the toughest challenge of the day - deciding what to order in the cafe. There was time for reflection on the first half of the ride with Andy providing useful insights into the world of triathlon. Apparently you can be penis sized - oh sorry, that should be penalised, for impeding other athletes. The way to avoid this is to notify the person in front that you are right behind them by giving them a good kick up the arse. There is also the possibility that you might be led astray during the swim section by someone who doesn't know where they're going. Sounds like a Saturday bike ride to me. Andy then slipped into a daydream, thinking about his pussy at home and what to feed it with when he returned. Marsella had apparently gone off with Gordon and should be waiting when Andy got home.
The run home was pleasant enough with patches of tail wind. Don't think it was Ivan as he didn't have beans in the cafe. At Wrington we decided a fast run down the A370 was possible so we headed to Congresbury before setting off for Weston. A small group managed a good time but left stragglers all up the road. In the rules of cycling you can cut corners, like Armstrong riding across a field, as long as you don't gain an advantage. The bunch rode around Wick St Lawrence while Ivan took a short cut but it was okay as he, like Armstrong, didn't gain an advantage. Martin tried to snatch the last KOM points on Crem Brulee but despite about a 1km lead he was still wiped out 10 metres from the top!
All in all a good day out albeit a little windy at times. And, just for the record, I have done a few calculations. Old Bristol Road is apparently a 181 metre climb. Ignoring rolling resistance which should be the same for most riders, the energy expended on the climb can be calculated by reference to the potential energy gained. This is basically mass x force due to gravity x altitude gained. In the case of Ivan this would be about 110kg x 10 x 181m giving him an energy usage of 199100 joules. For a lighter rider such as myself, I would have used 117650 joules of energy. Average power is expressed as energy used per unit time. The climb took me just under 12 minutes giving me an average power output of 11760 / (12 x 60) = 163 watts whereas Ivan took 21.5 minutes giving him an average power output of 154 watts. Therefore even with a weight handicap I would still win by 75 seconds. Still doesn't explain why I'm crap at sprinting though.
OJC: 2 (maybe 3), TTCR: 8/10, KFC: 7/10
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