showmethecakes Sat Apr 13, 2013 3:38 pm
Race Report: 15 riders out for this Spring Classic, LeWorle-Fenney-LeWorle, otherwise known as the Hell of the North Somerset. No Cancellara today - apparently he's on holiday - so opportunities for someone else to actually win something.
A dry ish start in LeWorle took the riders out towards Banwell, Loxton and Christon. No early break aways today, just a few kit kats and chocolate fingers. As for the riders, the peleton stayed together until the Col de Webbington when Martin, having already suffered a mechanical, abandoned at the side of the road.
The favourites kept within themselves with no-one exposing themselves in front of the bunch, possibly due to the presence of female participants. There were no mis-haps on the first section of pave in Axebridge with all the riders successfully negotiating the first narrow cobbled section. The speed then hotted up to a staggering 17 mph towards the foot of Mont Cheddar before rapidly coming back down to about 10! Neil (Team Stubble) and Nick of team Leek 'ee' Gas Farta Lotto pulled away up the climb to win some sort of KoM prize. Not sure what it is yet but the smell of success still lingers.
The bunch came together over a windy Mendip before setting off again towards Wells. Long John Burns tried to get away on the descent of Old Bristol Hill but Nick, Neil and Ivan soon blasted by to the sound of the horns and hooters of spectators on the road. All attempts at a break-away failed to materialise and the riders entered Fenney en mass (great care needed here with the spelling of Fenney!).
At the feed zone, Nick almost failed to collect his musette and despite riding hard an elderly lady from the cafe jogged along the path to meet him with his bag of sweets before planting a kiss on his cheek and telling him not to eat them all at once.
The thought of the second section of pave (Foret de Dung) caused two inner tubes to pop in sympathy. After much smuttiness about small pricks, penetration and Mars and Jeannie feeling deflated despite Stu's vigorous pumping the bunch rolled on through the delightful Somerset Countryside. By now the rain was steadily falling, not that I've ever seen it go upwards, and a small break made use of the conditions to power ahead into Wedmore. It was only then that it became apparent that another rider had suffered a puncture. I say another rider but in fact it was Mars - again! Fearing tacks on the road among the rocks, pot-holes, gravel and other general shit, the race leader and wearer of the Yellow Pants (sponsored by I P Daily Sanitary Towels) decided to nutralise the race, suggesting we go into the nearest cafe and leave the others to fix the puncture!
This made the return to LeWorle a gentle roll in to the finish, apart from Nick's show of power up the Axebridge by-pass and various other bursts of speed by Neil and Ivan etc. We said farewell to Long John Burns who abandoned at Banwell leaving three riders to sprint it out for the finish.
Total distance - don't know, bike computer fell off at Cheddar.
Average speed - yes.
Max speed - reasonably quick.
Max Heart Rate - about 215 with all that smutty talk - disgusting!