Monday 22nd December

Dear cycling geezers,

You'll be pleased to know that I am unable to accompany you on next Saturday's ride. However, I have mentioned to some of you that I will be out on Monday 22nd to make up for it. Martin & Richard have both expressed an interest, but more would be most welcome.

I reckon 9 o'clock at Priory would be the done thing.

70 miles would be nice depending on the weather. Destination tbc.

Cheers!

Something going on with the time on this thing. I didn't leave the message at 4.35 in the morning. . . . . honest!

. . . . you guys were probably still in town anyway.

Six suckers turned out for this one and we'd managed a staggering 1 mile when we had the first puncture caused by a 1980's Eurythmics single. After a very swift repair we set off towards Glastonbury via Sandford, Cheddar and Wedmore. Nick and Paul did a lot of work on the front into the wind although there were a couple of stretches of road when there was a tail wind to everyone's relief.

Martin and co. turned back just outside Glastonbury which was probably a good thing considering what happened next. When we got in to the centre of Glastonbury Burns ripped into us complaining about lack of commitment, slow averages and always having to stop to let others catch up. We were all for stopping at Glastonbury but after this verbal onslaught we didn't want to upset the Burns any more. So we set off towards Somerton into a head wind at 27 mph. Jeannie was the first to crack and dropped off the back. Not content with dropping a rider, Burns went back to give her the evil eye. With a bit of encouragement she got back on. A mile or so later and she was off the back again so Burns dropped back and pushed her into the rhyne before riding back up to the remains of the group.

Next to go was me. Fearful of being pushed into a ditch I dug deep but couldn't quite close the gap. I turned around to see that Burns had pulled a cordless chainsaw from his jersey and was firing it up. However, rather than make me go any faster he just started taking lumps out of my bike. Eventually I was riding on one wheel but the reduction in weight helped me get up to the required speed. To punish us further Burns went straight through Langport and on to North Curry where we stopped for tea and cakes. I say stopped, he sent Nick in to raid the cafe and then ride back up to us with whatever he could carry. I was so hungry I quickly tucked in to the second hand paper back novel he handed me before he started to consume an old Beta Max video. Burns then pulled out the riding crop and whipped us into shape across the levels completing the 80 miles at a 27.1 mph average. And then I came out of my daydream and finished my coffee, in the cafe in Glastonbury where we had stopped. Sorry Martin, you should have stuck it out for 200 metres more and then you could have joined the A team in the cafe!

In reality I don't think anyone could really be bothered with a long ride today. Managed 55 miles by the time I got home so not too bad considering.

KFC: 8/10
OJC: 2/6 or 2/4 depending on whether you made it to the cafe or not.
TTCR: 8/10

Thanks for the report. You had me going there for a bit up until the bit where Mr B pushed Jeanie in the river :-) I thought Mr Burns had 'gone postal'.
I think i'm coming down with a cold as a struggled to keep up with Andy while he was only doing 16mph. We stopped at Sweets but it took about 20 mins before i drinks were served as they were packed out with cyclists!
Managed to hang on to Andys wheel until Wrington where i then dropped to 12mph!

seems like i missed a treat.

for once, sitting in bed ready to rush to the loo with trolloping gats was one of the best MOVEMENTS i've managed in ages.

thought i was a bit dicky on saturday, i seemed to lose my sense of direction on the way home and turned into gordon for 5 miles (our bikes needed a good clean anyway.)