showmethecakes Sun Jul 09, 2017 11:12 am
I'm Burrington Bertie
I left at 8:30
And rode to the school for the off
I cycled to Bruton for cake and a brew son
Then rode back aft' a brief little scoff
I should have had more
Cos I walked in the door
And my legs they buckled and bowed
I shouldn't be meddling with high speed pedaling
The pace it should have been slowed
I'm Burrington Bertie
I left at 8:30
And wish I'd have eaten some more
Light headed and queezie, bonking's not easy
I think we all know the score
There were plenty of DNS's, a few TUE's but as yet no disqualifications. Numbers swelled to 12 by Churchill with the inclusion of Pete, Andy, Nick and Jeannie. Ivan took the short cut to Burrington which was very close to being the long option as we almost caught him before the start of the climb.
The pace was reasonable along the Mendip motorway with a couple of pauses for stragglers. Ivan did a great impersonation of Tommy Voeckler as he followed Jeannie into big shit canyon, otherwise known as Torhole Bottom. Don't think I can remember Tommy waggling it around quite as much but then he's not quite as big as Ivan. To accompany the Tommy V impersonation Ivan also pretended to drive a vintage car from the 1900's, squeezing the horn all the way down the road.
After we had slogged up that stupid hill we arrived in Bruton. Ivan had apparently located a new cafe on the opposite side of the high street to the chapel. Thing is it looked more like your local corner shop. There was a sign to say 'Cats Cafe' so Ivan went to make enquiries. There were a couple of old pussies sitting inside and after a quick sniff around we were allowed into the back passage. After being served by an Oriental Shorthair I sat next to a Peterbald. We discussed Whiskas and Go Cat varieties before returning to the back passage for a re-mount. Malcolm, the Munchkin, decided to use his Garmin Maps to find the way out of Bruton. This led us down a narrow twisty lane to a river! Using a narrow path and footbridge we managed to negotiate our way out of Bruton. For those that are interested there is now a segment called Supermarket Sweep that requires you to ride through the shop for a chance of a top 10 on Strava. Just waiting for someone to flag it as dangerous.
We merrily bowled along to Glastonbury and to a second stop at Double Gates. We tried our best to avoid using the 's' work in the cafe and any mention of sponge cake was immediately frowned upon. We did an excellent job of avoiding telling Phil the rugby score. Unfortunately we didn't do such a good job of not telling Pete who was very pleased to learn that it was a draw. Pete commented on Andy's baldness which was a bit like the pot calling the kettle black. Pete has apparently been experimenting with German engineering for his hair. So far he has concluded that sleeping under an Audi R8 doesn't work. Perhaps try a BMW or a Mercedes next time.
After Daggs Lane a few of us got tar glued to our tyres crossing the top of Mudgely. I stopped three times to remove stones from my tyres and then had to sprint to catch the bunch. Nick then had a similar problem with a stone stuck in his brake calliper. We stopped together to sort it out but the bunch rode on ahead. After a good 2-3 minutes we sett off again but the bunch was nowhere to be seen. Unsure of the direction they would have taken we decided to head across to the A38 via the Windmill. As we rode up to the Golf Club we discovered that everyone had gone through Wedmore towards Cheddar. Armed with this new information we turned off through Crickham to join the Cheddar Road at Cocklade. Not seeing anyone for about 300 metres in either direction we rode to Cheddar to wait assuming that the bunch might have waited a while in Wedmore.
After a 10 minute stop in Cheddar we decided to go home via Webby etc. As it turns out the bunch were ahead of us and had already made Axbridge by the time we had reached the petrol station in Cheddar. Not sure what all the excuses are like: "We waited 10 minutes for you." Strava Flyby shows there was a 2 minute wait in Cheddar for Pete to get back into the bunch before everyone set off again. Not that I'm angry or anything. Afterall it is only yourselves that you have let down!
Took me four hours to recover when I got home. Not enough food or water and a hot day. Hope everyone else enjoyed the GROUP ride home.
OJC: 2, TTCR: 6/10, KFC: 8/10 (11/10 if you ask me).
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