showmethecakes Sun Feb 26, 2017 11:38 am
The bright lights in the distance signaled the imminent arrival of the peloton. Lofty and I were somewhat surprised when only Wayne and Pete came by. We needn't have feared. The main group emerged from the murk a few minutes later and we duly joined in.
With a south westerly blowing there was a degree of reluctance to put oneself on the front into the wind. This had the effect of keeping the whole group together to the bottom of Wooly Hill. Martin edged towards the front of the bunch as we approached the climb to cheers of encouragement: "Go on Martin", "You can do it...." etc. Based on last week's performance it was more like: "Go on Martin!" (snigger, snigger), "You can do it..." (tee hee), "Now's your chance Martin!" (ho, ho, ho). Martin responded in a way that any true professional would be proud of. He raised his middle finger and went off up the road. Alex chased him down and he was caught within ____ metres. (Fill in your own estimate. I'm going for 20). Having passed Martin, Alex then continued to the top to take maximum points. The boys are on their way round as we speak. You mess wi' da' family you getta whats a coming to you. Let's just say he might wake up next to parts of Shergar.
Lofty then informed the eclectic riders who had made it to the top that the others had cut the corner and turned left at the bottom. In this day and age its all about informed choices. The choices should have been: option 1 - ride up a nice smooth tarmac road to the top of a hill or, option 2 - ride up a crap covered farm track to the top of the same hill. Never mind, it all came together again on the Poldens before the definitive split at Shapwick with a sizable group heading for Langport while the others headed for Sweets.
At the top of Pedwell Hill Adrian decided to inspect the road surface. Unable to determine the exact composition of the road he took a closer look at it from about 4 inches. It's the first time I can remember a cyclist deliberately falling off to avoid injury but In Ade's case I think it was the correct thing to do. What didn't work out quite as well was trying to get up again. Ade did a very good impression of a tortoise on its back, all arms an legs, until a few people helped him up. Undaunted he carried on and managed to complete the ride.
I was all for sitting up across to High Ham but Lofty wanted to get on. Sharing the work we put a bit of distance between us and the bunch before coming to a virtual stand still on the Hill having totally knackered ourselves out. After re-grouping there was the usual rant across the top with Wayne taking the honours at the T-junction with Neil a close second.
Phil was looking forward to the tarts in the cafe. Unfortunately they only had Danish and having not signed up to membership of the EU Phil wondered why they were allowed to work in the UK. The rest of us wondered why they were allowed to work at all. Having methodically taken down all the orders the kitchen staff then played the classic "I went to market" game, or in this case "I took the orders" game.
"A cyclist went to Langport and ordered.....an americano. Two cyclists went to Langport and ordered....an americano and a bacon roll. Three cyclists went to Langport and ordered......f**k, I've forgotten already". We probably sent back as many drinks and plates of food as we had actually ordered. Andy and Pete were sharing one large pot of tea from a distance of about 30 feet. Pete ordered Jam with his toast and got none. Then asked again and still got none. Then two lots turned up. Tracy ordered a cranberry slice and was told 15 minutes later that they did not have any cranberry juice. Ho hum.
We followed the usual route back through to Burrow Bridge and Chedzoy. The rain started to fall by the time we got to Wooly Hill and across the levels it chucked it down. Fortunately I'd got myself a 200 metre lead so I didn't have to follow anyone else. On the other hand, Andy and Lofty sat in the wheels and got nicely plastered in mud. It all came together for the final dash to Watchfield and following Neil and Wayne for about 500 metres was like following a paddle steamer up the Mississippi.
We waited for R2D2 at Watchfield. Considering this was his first ride for about 4 months I'm surprised he hadn't dropped down dead by now. I think the radiation at Hinckley might be altering his genes like the incredible hulk. I wonder what he's like when he's angry?
No messing for a bog stop on the return through Brent Knoll. Straight on and up 1 mile flat to the Anchor before the group started to split for home.
OCJ: 1?, TTCR: 4/10 (poor service), KCF: 6/10, Mileage: 60-70 ish.
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