showmethecakes Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:10 am
Lofty and I set off for the seaside rendezvous. Lofty was concerned about the grinding noise emanating from his rear mech. I suggested it was the rusty, mud covered derailleur that was causing the problem and was on the point of criticising the lack of care shown to his trusty (or perhaps rusty) steed when the phrase 'pot calling the kettle black' came to mind. Glancing at my own drive chain I noticed the odd patch of rust and listened to the occasional squeak of protest from the links.
The group duly ambled past and we latched on at a very sedate pace to the Anchor where we once again picked up a dubious character who for all we know had spent the night asleep on the pub bench after a heavy nights drinking. The only other place Paul S tends to meet up with the group is in Winscombe outside the...guess what? Yes, the pub.
Jeannie did some work on the front along One Mile Flat before Lofty took over and then pulled away through Lympsham before regrouping at Jeannie's bogs. After more ambling we hit the bottom of Wooly Hill. Not in the Keith sense where he did literally hit the bottom of Wooly Hill but in the sense that some riders actually had to put some effort in at this point. Pants on Fire decided to feign an attack. Trump was immediately on the phone to Chain Gang HQ citing this as another example of fake news, or in this case fake riding. No one believed that an idiot like that would even attempt to control such a powerful body of people and Martin was largely ignored. As for Trump, a public apology was instantly issued via the BBC and CNN. Unfortunately Trump dismissed this as fake news and missed another opportunity to inflate his ego.
Lofty maintained family honour on Wooly Hill sending out a clear message not to mess with the family! If anyone tries to overtake on Wooly Hill horses may have to be sacrificed.
Bawdrip Down is a segment which looks possible for a KOM. Some cock called Anti-Climax has got it at the moment and thinking I could nail this one I swung off the main road at around 53 kph. Knowing I would pick up more speed on the downhill section I was confident it was in the bag. Disappointed that Strava logged it as a 44 kph average it was slightly more annoying that Martin, who was behind me all the way down, got a better time and is now second overall.
On the run in to Burrowbridge we had the inevitable van incident. No longer shall it be known as White Van Man but as White Van Fat Slob. Okay, it doesn't quite have the same ring to it but it might catch on.
At the Willow centre I was hoping to have an in depth conversation with the great man himself. I wanted to know about all his trips abroad but sadly Alan wasn't there. There was plenty of evidence to suggest he had been as there were wicker baskets, erm, more wicker baskets and, er, er...Is there anything else that you can actually make out of wicker? I went inside hoping for something hot. Perhaps chicken in a wicker basket but strangely they didn't do that kind of thing.
Some riders were disappointed not to have gone to Monks Yard as planned. Others were pleased as they wanted to go but had no idea where it was. The rest were simply delighted that it was looking like a 70 mile doss rather than the planned 90 mile slog.
Ivan led the group down his favourite road, i.e. anything that says it's closed. As usual, it wasn't and we zigzagged all the way to Bridger where Paul had put his arm out for a request stop for emergency medication. Most places were clean out of EPO so he headed off to Morrisons in search of horse tranquilliser. The group waited at the pre-arranged rendezvous but there was no sign of Paul. That was until a 90 year old with trousers tucked into socks came by on his push bike. The group felt obliged to chase him down and just about managed to make the catch 3 metres down the road.
Phil decided that parts of Bridger looked continental. Apparently if you took the view across the bridge and scrubbed out the Tattoo parlour, American Nails shop, people and river it might just about look like a continental cafe scene, without a cafe.
Martin led the charge out of Bridger setting a good pace up the dual carriageway. At Dunball roundabout he pulled over shouting 'regroup' which was very amusing as just about everyone was sat on his wheel anyway. The pace was kept high to Pawlett where Lofty powered over the top causing havoc behind. Nick then took over raising the speed from 28 to 33 mph. At this point Martin and I blew up, Lofty had long gone and only Andy C managed to hold on. The ever kindly Nick then slowed to let Martin and me back on and we continued at speed all the way to Highbridge.
At Edithmead there was an impromptu car push before a final regroup in Brent Knoll. Ivan sneaked away but we hammered past him on One Mile Flat before the group split up for home.
OJC: 5, TTCR: 6/10 (no hot food), KFC: 7/10