showmethecakes Sun Jun 26, 2016 10:52 am
Bloody shambles - and Ivan wasn't even there!
Nothing much to report up to Brent Knoll. Pale Pete had probably tried to follow the lead group across from Lympsham judging by his superb blancmange impression when he climbed off at the bogs. I would have said 'raspberry jelly' but we are talking Pale Pete here. Ambled along to Wooly Hill when Banana Power kicked in and, to be honest, I never saw Scott again.
Everyone was delighted to ride the Strada Bianchi again. Not wanting to be disrespectful or anything but I think I saw a stickleback swim upstream faster than the back end of the group was moving along the path. Let's face it, your tyres still have to roll over the same amount of nobly stones whatever speed you go at.
Now to what will go down in folk law as 'Shambles Junction'. This is the point on the ride where those going to Wellington follow the sign to 'Wellington'. Those wanting to go to Langport follow the sign to 'Langport'. I think it was at this point a few years ago when Ivan revealed his 'Shambles Cycling Club' t-shirt to us following on from the previous week's ride. Don't know what it is about this junction but several riders who were clearly not intending to go to Wellington swung right and followed Burns the Bread et al towards North Curry. After a hasty regroup those who intended to go to Langport eventually made it there.
We'd barely rearranged the furniture when we were set upon by the staff for orders. Keith, meanwhile, tried to order his food at the till. Not quite sure what had gone on but I passed behind him as he grumbled: "This will be the third time I've told you. Are you going to listen this time?". The toast was a rip off for the price. One slice of sourdough cut in half and shown the toaster. I've seen more colour on Pale Pete. Dave's tea turned up without a cup. Okay, it was in a teapot and not just poured over the table, but Pete had a cup and no tea. One of those tricky moments followed when we couldn't decide whether it was one complete set that was missing, i.e. a tea and cup, or two halves of two separate orders.
Not to worry, we all set off for High Ham. Well, all except Pale Pete who was concentrating so hard on the road immediately below his front wheel that he completely overlooked every one else turning left and carried on up the road to Somerton. After a good 10 minute wait or so and an attempted phone call we carried on to Pedwll hill where Mars punctured. I knew Lofty was in a hurry to get home so I followed him up the hill with the idea that we carry on together while the others wait for Mars. Strangely at the top there was no sign of Lofty or Micha - they must have gone on. Well that's okay then, I'll wait.
Unknown to anyone, Lofty had stopped about 50 metres ahead just out of sight. After waiting a bit, Micha had gone on by himself. Lofty waited a bit longer, then decided we must all have gone a different way, and set off by himself. Meanwhile Pale rider had miraculously made his way to the bottom of Pedwell. Unfortunately he arrived about a minute after Mars had fixed her puncture and missed the group again. To make matters worse he then missed the turn up Pedwell and carried on to Ashcott before doubling back to Shapwick.
Now we had Micha about 5 miles ahead, Lofty about 2 miles behind and then the rest of the group minus Pale rider a further three miles behind. What did Jeannie say in the cafe? "Let's stick together on the other any back because it's going to be hard going into that headwind!".
Lofty had obviously run out of time as Mrs W had met him in Brent Knoll with the team car ready to take him home. Clint Eastwood was still a High Planes Drifter and the rest of us rolled home.
School report: Must try harder. Effort A, achievement E.